I was talking to Phoenix and God only knows what when she suddenly points out that one of her brother's girlfriend likes me. (Not like that.) I said, "Of course she does; I'm Heather Tether!" (This is what the girl who shall remain nameless calls me.) Phoenix laughed and said, "I know. It's just strange though. She's always happy to see you. I never even talk to her, but you do all the time." She went on to say, "Perhaps it's a white thing, like you white people stick together." I laughed and said, "Yeah, she tried to get your sisters' guys on her side, but that didn't happen. So, now she has me." She smiled at me, but went on to say, "You should be hanging out with the boys. You're supposed to be in with the guys, not with the girlfriends." Apparently the reasoning behind this is because I'm the "boy". I rolled my eyes at her and said, "I don't think so." I asked her if she'd prefer that people didn't like me and she said, "I'm supposed to like you; not them." I then suggested she go back to her ex, whom it seems none of them were fond of. She gave me a dirty look for that comment...
Seriously though, why would it be bad if people like me??? And why the hell is she always trying to say I'm the boy!? It's gotten to the point where this even affects my dreams. I had a dream like a week ago and she and I were shopping. As we were looking at shorts and t-shirts, she walked off. She returned a moment later with two baseball caps. After putting hers on, she said, "Here, put it on. This was made for you." I didn't want to put it on, nor would I look at her because I knew she was up to no good. Finally, I looked at her and saw she was wearing a hat that said, "Femme" in bold pink letters and holding a hat (that's right) that read, "Butch" in bold blue letters. I said, "No! I won't wear that!" She said, "C'mon, you know you want to." This about the time I woke up...So weird that she's now invading my unconscious thoughts as I sleep with these sorts of thoughts...Although, I suppose that it could've spawned from this hat that I saw and wanted:
Ehh, who knows?
But yeah...I have no clue why it is that it's not good that people like me...Or why she feels the need to identify me as the "boy"...She once told me to tell my sister (because she too thinks I'm the boy) that there are no boys in lesbian relationships. When I brought this up one time as she argued that I'm totally the boy, she said, "I only said that to be nice and to score points with you! We'd only been together for a little while and I needed to stay on your good side." All I could do was laugh...I just don't think that in straight relationships there's always a need to identify gender roles. Can't we just live and be happy? In fact, can't we just be us and be happy that her family likes me?
Maybe I'm asking for too much...All I know is that I want that hat...(No, not the "Butch" one from my dream!)
Were you a lesbian back then too? I did not notice it until you were at least 6 or so...
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