Adventures in Foster Care...

On Tuesday I ended up going to a foster care orientation. Phoenix and I have been kicking around the idea of doing foster care, but we've been trying to figure out an agency to go through since I am not fond of the idea of going through the same one she went through with her ex...I know, I'm such a bad person for that, but whatever...So, I had to be at this orientation at 6:30. I got there early, which gave me time to watch the people arriving. Most of the people there appeared to be married couples. I think there were two women who were most likely single moms, which made me wonder why they'd want to do it. According to the presenters, this is NOT a way to make money. Yeah, because my first thought regarding children is that they'll make me money. *rolls eyes*


Anyway, the people there were weird. There was an older white man there, like at least late fifties perhaps early sixties with his, most likely, Asian wife who was maybe, and I'm being generous here, all of 29 or 30. I didn't know Woody Allen had moved to Phoenix and was fostering children. Then there was another married couple who could've been Jack and Kelly Osbourne. No joke. I feel sorry for the children they foster. "Ahhh, we're having doves heads again!?" I'm just not sure I've seen people so tatted up and pierced who desire children, but to each their own. Next to me was a very scary African-American man. He had come in, and in his James Earl Jones voice asked me, "Is this for the foster care?" I looked up at the 7 foot tall man and said yes it was. He then took the seat right next to me, and I was kind enough to stand up to let him into the row. Why he took the seat next to me is beyond me, but whatever. So, he sits there and first of all, his damn phone kept going off. And he wouldn't immediately silence it, but he'd slowly pull it out of his shirt pocket, look at the screen for a moment, and then push a button to silence it before putting it back in the same pocket. I've seen frozen molasses move faster than this moron. Secondly, he kept putting his arm around my chair. I was not with this man, nor did I want others to think I was with him. I was leaning forward slightly because I was doodling in the notebook I had brought with me and taking notes from time to time as the woman talked, but when I sat up, he was clearly putting his arm around me. The first time I sat up straighter, he had the nerve to sigh and move all quick and angry-like, as if I was putting him out. By the end of the hour and a half presentation (People should be forced to hold their stupid questions until the end. Oh yeah...There are no stupid questions, just stupid people, right?), I wanted to ask the man if he knew what personal space was, but then I realized I already knew the answer--No, he had no clue what personal space was since he had no qualms about putting his arm around me. Bastard.


I left the orientation with less than stellar information. I was hoping to find out which agencies were gay-friendly, but all I got was a list of agencies in the area. In fact, I had only slightly more information than I had already found online. I could've spent that time people watching at Barnes and Noble, for crying out loud! What a waste...On the other hand, I did have fun watching the weirdos there. Like the man up front who kept raising his hand and jumping half out of his chair every time he had a question...I know who he was in school. He was the boy who would leap out of his seat, with his hand up, yelling, "Ew, ew, pick me! Pick me!" And then he'd have the wrong answer anyway because those guys never know the right answer, they just want to be called on...