Lesbian Advice Column...

I found an ad online for the examiner.com. They're hiring for people to write for them who feel they have the inside scoop on specific things in specific areas. For instance, if you live in Phoenix and you're a serious fan of the Diamondbacks or Cardinals, then you could write articles about the best seats at the games or the best bars to watch the games. You could also talk about other aspects of the teams in the local area, like charity work they do or something. So, I was like, "Hmmm...What do I know?" I looked at the list of what they were looking for and saw relationships/lesbian. I thought, "Hey! I'm in a lesbian relationship! And I live in Phoenix! I could do this!" I applied. I wrote them a silly article as my "introduction". I also linked them to my blogs. They wrote back and said they were impressed with my writing (I'm not sure it was a form letter, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was...), but that they wanted one more sample. I wrote them an article on something new to do to keep your relationship exciting and keep you healthy. Phoenix and I have been thinking about taking up hiking, but haven't started it yet. Plus, I don't own any boots except my Doc's, which are not hiking boots. So, I wrote this article about hiking in the Phoenix area and linked it to some websites to find trails, maps, etc. I made jokes in it and thought it was great...My problem was trying to figure out a title for it...Obviously, for my sample article, I couldn't title it with something like Take Your Dyke for a Hike! Or Hike With Your Dyke. Or, well, you get the idea...I called my mom, but she was no help because after I said Take Your Dyke for a Hike, she couldn't think of anything else. I ended up calling it Take a Hike, which is boring, but "safe", you know? I'm hoping to hear back from them though...It wouldn't be a full-time job, but I love writing and earning anything from writing would be great...


Speaking of writing, I let a friend read a novel-length story I wrote. I had let Phoenix read it and she thought it was great, but I always worry that she's biased because she loves me, you know? So, my friend read it and loved it! She actually stayed up super late last night to finish it. Cool, huh? Perhaps I should send it off to some publishers. I had sent it in for a writing contest, but being that it's about lesbians, I doubt it would win because the place I sent it to sounds rather, um, uppity, I guess is the word I'm looking for..."Snobbish" works too. So, yeah...I found some gay publishers though, so I might send it off and see what happens. It would be awesome to be published!!


I know that this is supposed to be my "gay blog", and not much is going on at the moment, so I have this one little story. Last night, Phoenix and I were watching House Hunters on HGTV. (Seriously, I should call Cox and ask for it to be removed from our line-up because I watch it all the time!!) Before jumping into the story, I'd like to point out that whereas Phoenix and I disagree on so many things, we do agree on houses. In every house show we've seen, we agree on which houses we like or don't like. Last night, we even made the same comment about a bathroom that wasted all kinds of space. It was amusing. So, house shopping, once we get there, won't be a big deal at all. Anyway, so, we're watching House Hunters and this girl is on there in Detroit, Michigan looking for a house with an $80,000 budget. She was able to find pretty nice houses for the price. (She also chose the house we liked.) In the beginning of the show, she had long flowing blonde hair and talked about being a 7th grade teacher. She also rode a motorcycle (A crotch rocket.). I was wondering if she was gay because she just gave off that vibe, but I wasn't sure. Phoenix didn't say, "Oh, she's so gay!" either which is what I was waiting for...At the end, when it showed her making her decision and talking about it, she had shaved her head so that her hair was like a half inch long all over. She was all, "I cut my hair and bought my first house and bought a puppy!" I was like, "Oh my God!" Phoenix was all, "Is that the same girl!?" She looked like a total dyke! I couldn't believe it! It was as if she used House Hunters to show off her gayness!! It was crazy. If I were on that show, I wouldn't show off my gayness...I would claim that Phoenix was my "sister"...Shhhh, don't tell her I said that...


That's it for me today...Phoenix just called with a new task for me. My newest task, should I choose to accept it, is to find a park with racquetball courts. I have no idea how to play racquetball, which may be why she wants to play with me; she'll kick my ass. So, I am off to locate parks with racquetball courts...Man oh man, she's trying to turn me into a dyke...Next thing you know, she's going to want me to play softball or shave my head or ride a motorcycle or wear sweater vests...Oh shut up! I only own a couple of sweater vests and I think it's totally acceptable for English teachers to wear them! It doesn't make me a dyke!