Maybe not...

I decided the other day to take Phoenix with me to people watch. We went to the same Barnes and Noble/Starbucks I go to and got my favorite table, but it wasn't the same. For one thing, she moves too much! She kept running off to get magazines and such. It was driving me nuts. I had brought along my computer, not because I was going to write, but simply to give me something to do, so I looked busy and less like a fruitcake. Anyway, she tried to get in on the fun, but it wasn't working for me.


When I first walked in, I noticed immediately a group of three people to my right in a corner table. These people were all older, like fifties or so, and very, very involved in their conversation. As I watched them out of the corner of my eye after getting my coffee and such, I started to think of a couple of possible scenarios. They could've been discussing what to do with a sick relative. The man was talking with his hands a lot and basically looked like he was trying to convince them of something. I also thought that perhaps one of the women was his wife and the other was his ex and they were talking about the kids...Like trying to figure out which college one should go to or something. Obviously, I could be very far off base...They could've been discussing how to set up their latest cult and how they need to be more careful this time because the last time they tried to get everyone to drink the Kool-Aid, no one was thirsty. (Perhaps this time they should serve peanuts or chips with the Kool-Aid.) As I was quietly thinking of my story for these people, Phoenix derailed my train of thought by leaning over and whispering, "Maybe he's trying to convince the women to have a threesome." Yeah, that was my first thought when I saw the older, not attractive in any way, shape, or form people. *rolls eyes* She later tried her story again by saying that he was dating both of them and wanted them both at once and...I don't even know. I stopped listening. It was just wrong...They were a motley crew though...


Speaking of strange groups of people, we saw a very strange, er, um, I don't know what they were. Let me try to explain. I was sitting at Starbucks for a few minutes waiting for Pheonix because she had run next door for something before joining me. As I sat there, a girl in her early twenties (like maybe 21 or so) came walking into the Starbucks area with a woman old enough to be her mother. The younger girl was very obviously gay. Like no doubt about it. The woman was harder to tell, but could've been. I assumed, "Mom and daughter." They got their coffee and sat down at a table two tables down from me. I couldn't hear their conversation, but I gathered that they were deciding which books to buy. (Why on earth do people buy the graphic novel versions of books??? I did hear her say that she wanted The Gunslinger book, which was the graphic novel version and not the original. So dumb.) They were separating books into stacks as they drank their coffee. Here's the problem...They seemed more like they were together rather than mom and daughter...I had poked Phoenix and whispered, "Mom and daughter?" She said, "That's not a mom. Look at her shoes." She had on weird sandals that looked like they might've had Spiderman on them...They ended up wandering the store and purchasing their books at the same time we were picking out a present for Phoenix's step-mom and that's when I decided that they were together. I just don't get it though...WHY!? It was so wrong! And they looked similar.


Don't get me wrong...I'm all for being with whoever you love and I don't want to judge, but damn...I think I'm not half bad looking, but I'm not sure I'd want to date someone who could pass for my sister or my mother or my grandmother for that matter...Like I might've thought Phoenix was fabulous if she looked like me, but I don't think I would've gotten with her...I'm not that narcissistic. *considers that thoughts* Well, I might be that narcissistic, but I wouldn't date someone who could pass as family for fear of incestuous thoughts by others. *shivers at the thought*


The only other thing while there was the girl working at Barnes and Noble. This was one of those times when I found myself loving Phoenix a little more than usual. The girl at B&N had the most obnoxious voice on the face of the planet. I was trying my best to tune her out as we searched through the cards for an amusing one. She just wouldn't shut up though as she tried to sell the weird lesbian couple the membership thing. Phoenix quietly said something about wanting to punch her in the face. This went on for a few minutes until finally she had picked out the card and we went to go pay. As luck would have it, we got the loud mouth girl. She talked...A lot. Phoenix was on her best behavior, but I could see that she was so very annoyed and it took everything in me not to laugh at her. I then took notice of the worker. She moved her mouth more than anyone I've ever seen in my life. You know how when people lip synch they over-emphasize the words? Well, that's what she did while talking. My mouth ached just seeing how much she moved hers. It was scary, now that I think about it. Needless to say, Phoenix couldn't get out of there fast enough. Later that night, she was still thinking about the crazy obnoxious girl's voice...I had to agree though...It was worse than say Ben Stein and Gilbert Godfried mixed together and that's saying something!


I guess what I'm trying to say is that perhaps my people watching missions should be done alone...It's hard to pay attention to what's going on around me when someone (I won't name names...) keeps getting up from the table to get a new magazine or to just wander around. Maybe next time I'll take her people watching somewhere where she's not expected to sit still...like at the zoo...or a sporting event...